I hesitate to call this "artwork" because it was such a simple set up. Everything right out of the box. (well, a little tweaking) I mainly wanted to try out the lighting and reflections as well as practice with the cameras depth of field. I'm back to feeling blocked again with no new ideas coming forward. It sounds strange but sometimes a change in my environment helps, either with creativity or the occasional feeling of being in a rut so I'm working on that.
That last one can cause some depression so I'm working on that with a therapist. She's not a full time thing... just something I took advantage of through work and completely through a text app. I hate talking about feelings so I told her I just wanted some tools to combat the anxiety and depression when it reared its head once in a while. So far I've got 'write every night', 'stop thinking ahead too much' and 'don't over analyze'. Yeah, ok those I could have come up with myself.
I hated making the call but there was something that drove it somewhat (well, added to a recent bout of anxiety anyway). The art site (that shall not be mentioned) that I'd been a member of for 20 years has a (fairly) new (2018) "community leader" and out of the blue I was told my moderator services were no longer needed due to "budget cuts" (eventually she told me the reason was budget cuts after I had to ask repeatedly what was going on but her first contact was nothing but a goodbye with no reason given and no recent interaction with anyone to explain it). This was after a 20 year membership, many contributions to the site over the years (I doubt she was around back when they had a print magazine) and 7 years of moderating. Not a soft landing or a real "thank you for your years of service" to be heard even.
I think that's what bothered me about it.... Not one legitimate "thank you".
The new "community leader" has no people skills whatsoever and her communication skills are severely lacking.
In short, she is a bitch who is devoid of humanity, in my experience.
Truth is the site had been stagnating over the years from where it once was. Forums that were once full of new posts daily now barely get nowhere near what they used to a day. Policing the gallery used to take a couple of hours but lately took barely 15 minutes. The stagnation has been obvious for a while now. Had she come to me with a discussion on the needs of the type of staff that I was, I would have actually understood, especially since I work full time and have less time to help out than some who are either unemployed or retired and I would have said my goodbyes and moved back to just being a member but instead she chose callousness and a complete lack of humanity. Honestly, I've spoken to members who hurled abuse at me in the course of my job there better than she did. I worked my tail off for that site in the beginning, putting in more than the requested hours. Then another community leader (she is long gone) stepped in and did something that made me realize my extra time wasn't appreciated or even noticed. I sucked it up and dealt with it but I stopped putting in the extra time. It wasn't appreciated anyway so why bother? So I've deleted my gallery of 20 years and my contributions and have mostly cut ties. But yes, her out of the blue abrupt and callous words did spawn a bit of depression and prompted the call to the therapist. I'm probably sharing way too much but talking it over with my husband he pointed out a couple of things. One... the job had been feeling like more of a job lately. This is true. Every time they changed something without benefit of a group discussion it caused issues. Their "team meetings" were always in the middle of the day when I was at work with no thought to updating anyone who couldn't attend and there was no consistency and real leadership anymore. And two... and I'm not sure if this is his rose colored glasses or not... he said I expected civility because that's how I operate. For the most part that is true. Were I in her position I would not have spoken the way she did. I would have definitely had more discussion and more compassion, not to mention I would have paid attention to how long a person had been a member, contributed and at least given them a thank you and a reason in the first communication and not been so cold and uncommunicative that someone had to press for information that wan't related in the initial contact. So, yeah, the loss of something that's been a part of my life for 20 years and the abject rudeness of someone with no leadership skills and little history to the site caused a bit of an issue for me. But it's been a few weeks and I'm finding that beyond a few (more than a few, actually) people I came to like and admire over the years... I can get by without it. Especially with someone like her running things.
So yeah... she can most definitely kiss my ass. :)
On the plus side, this years Celebrity Golf tournament went extremely well. Jack Wagner is my favorite and he remembers me every year. :) Larry the Cable guy remembered me as well, I even got a hug (more than one, actually) on the last day and he asked if we (my husband and I) were going to be at Pebble Beach this year (we are not, I just don't have the leave time available and this tournament takes up a good chunk of my available leave). That could only be because he recognized my husband at Pebble earlier in the year. He's such a sweetheart. Jerry Woods liked my spf sleeves that I was wearing. They were camo (he was a marine) and asked where to find them. Told him I had a spare set and would bring them for him the next day we talked a bit and I mentioned my son-in-law is US Navy. (I have multiple spf sleeves since medications I take cause photo-sensitivity but I don't need two in camo :) ) After he tee'd off he came back to ask if I was serious. Next day after I gave them to him I saw on tv that he was wearing them a couple of holes from where I was working. :) He gave me a signed ball to add to my collection.
I popped over to the 17th tee to help out on the last day and the "Team Jack" shout out I arranged with some fellow fans not only got Jack's attention for them (I told them it would work) but made the golf channel. :) I saw myself on tv in the background of Justin Timberlake's back swing AND one of his interviews. (MUST remember not to stand there next year)
The only downside to this year was the lack of Mark Rypien. He won it 5 years ago and I have a signed ball that he gave my daughter just before he won that year. He is the sweetest guy, always remembered me, my husband and my daughter and the years that she couldn't make the tournament he would always ask where she was and how she was doing. He's going through some stuff right now and could use some thoughts and prayers. It was heartening to hear the head of the volunteers mention his struggles and provide a program that we could all sign for him. I really hope it reaches him.
"It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice." - John Templeton