In between loads of laundry I wrote out the words to a parody of an old country song that was anti-Obama.  I won’t post them here yet, I haven’t decided quite how to use them.  I thought about putting them to the music but I’m not sure I have the software for it so we’ll see.  Cledus T Judd came to mind, I could just see him singing it.  As did Alfonzo Rachel.  I’ll post them soon.

This came in email and I have added some embellishments to it.  Enjoy!

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

This one is a little different…
Two Different Versions! ………………  Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

===============  NOW   ======================

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and
plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and
demands to know why the ant
should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and
starving.

MSNBC, CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the
shivering grasshopper next to a
video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with
food.  America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

FOX NEWS points out the grasshoppers lack of personal responsibility and is
berated by Obama for talking about the facts of the situation and not how his abs looked on his latest vacation.

The Huffington Post tries to dig up something in the ants background in an attempt to smear him.

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody
cries when they sing,
‘It’s Not Easy Being Green.’

Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant ’s house
where the news stations film the group singing, ‘We shall overcome.’
Rev. Jeremiah Wright  then has the group kneel down to pray to God for
the grasshopper’s  sake.

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that
the ant has gotten rich off the back
of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant
to make him pay his fair share.

Michael Moore makes a movie about gluttony featuring, ironically, the ant as the villain.  With the proceeds he buys yet another multi-million dollar home in Flint Davison, MI.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act
retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green
bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the Government Green Czar.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
the ants food while the government house
he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around
him because he doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow but MSNBC, CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN, ABC, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Congress, Obama and Opra couldn’t give a rats arse about the ant because he was a conservative.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident
and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders
who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

The democrats all blame Bush.

MORAL OF TODAYS VERSION:  Be careful how you vote in 2010.

Naked ex-mayor arrested at campsite

By Alexis Stevens
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
Friday, June 26, 2009

A former mayor found sitting naked and holding a beer at a Rabun County campsite told police he wasn’t the same naked man seen walking around earlier.

Mark Musselwhite, 43, said he was hot and had been in the creek, according to a Georgia Department of Natural Resources incident report. He apparently didn’t think he was doing anything wrong.

Musselwhite, of Gainesville, was arrested last weekend after being confronted by state DNR authorities. He was charged with public indecency.

“He told me he was the ex-mayor of the city Gainesville and he was a very political person,” DNR Ranger Brandon Walls wrote in the report.

Walls and a deputy sheriff went to the campsite Saturday evening after a complaint of a man walking naked in Earls Ford Road, according to the report. Musselwhite appeared to be intoxicated, and several alcoholic beverages were at the campsite, Walls said.

Walls said he had spoken to Musselwhite earlier in the day regarding an ATV the former mayor was driving.

“He looked at us and said hello,” according to the report.

Musselwhite then asked why he was being visited.

“I said the complainant had specifically said his campsite, and the fact that he was still nude made me think it was him,” Walls wrote.

Musselwhite denied that he was the nude man identified in the complaint.

See, around here, that’s par for the course.  And the fact that there could be two of them walking around?  Perfectly conceivable.  We used to have a local nutcase who would routinely walk around naked.  (and on occasion, show up in your hot tub)  But a naked guy at a campsite?  Not news.  Naked and a former politician?  Not all that surprising considering our current political climate.  I’m surprised more don’t crack under the liberal nuttiness going on. 

Via Slick Barry

I love this….

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950’s, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up this country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don’t like re distributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We’ll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.. You can have your beloved homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks. We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.

We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N.. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volkswagen you can find.

We’ll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute Imagine, I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

..or watching too much CNN.

I love this cartoon. Click on the duck over there on the right to see all of the cartoons. This one was one of my favorites.

http://www.staytogether.us - Kevin Hughes
Not only is he hilarious, he’s pretty much spot on.  We just saw two of his shows and I’m ordering the DVD now.  You can see some short clips of his show: http://www.staytogether.us/clips.html.  The clips don’t do him justice though as they don’t show the gems that he comes up with at the end of the laughter. 
Definitely a must see.

This is hillarious:

James Thatcher,
Brand Manager

Proctor & Gamble
Feminine Hygiene Division

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years
and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak Guard
Core ™ or
Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding
or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the
beach in tight, white shorts.

But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings.
Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is
that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel
each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered
from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the
month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through me. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call
“an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager of Proctor & Gamble’s Feminine Hygiene Division,
you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers ‘monthly visits from “Aunt Flo”. Therefore, you must be
well aware of the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about
our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You
surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week,
my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps.

Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America’s just
crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants …
Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to
reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad,
and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:

“Have a Happy Period.”

Are you Effing kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really
think happiness ~ actual smiling, laughing, happiness ~ is possible
during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of
sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in
which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to
slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say
something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or
“Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong”, or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, as I have chosen to take my maxi pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit.

And that’s a promise I will keep …

Always.
Best Regards,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, Texas